I spent part of the day at work today researching breast reductions. I think I have researched so much that it’s all just being recycled, and I’m getting the same information in differnt forms. I did come up with two lists though. The first was symptoms/crapiness over having over-sized breasts. The second was a list of questions if the surgeon approves the surgery. I’m nervous and I doubt I’ll be getting much sleep on Sunday night.

Only 3 sleeps to go now.

Some of the things from my first list: I’ve played less and less sport over the years due the the uncomfortable moving and having to hold them in place prevents me doing anything with my hands at the same time. That being I’ve put on weight and I find it hard to do high intensity exercise.
I get neck aches and a heavy pulling feeling on my ches, the skin is alway tight. I’ve never been comfortable with them.
I’m still scared though.

I love summer and I love daylight savings. This year we are getting 3 extra weeks, which is awesome. It’s 6.32pm and I am sitting in my apartment looking out over the harbor. I live in the city on the 10th floor. I can see out over the beautiful blue sea, to the activity of the harbor and watch the sun shining. It feels so great to get home and it’s still light. I tend to get a little depressed in winter when I get up in the dark and come home in the dark, and all I feel like I’m ever doing is chores and cooking. I like cooking, just not when I’m tired.

I grew up at the beach. A small costal Village that wasn’t too far away but far enough. It was literary our house, the road and then the beach. It was a shame that beach was covered in oyster shells and we had to go to a beach down the road. we still sailed over it though. Having the power of a yacht under you command is a great feeling. The rise and fall of the waves, and wind, the lean of the boat, the sharp turns and the sheer speed that’s capable on the water. Amazing.

Tomorrow mum is coming into see me and we are going to take the ferry across the water. BF is doing band stuff all day, so won’t be home and it will be good to see mum.

I’m planning on going to the gym before she comes in. 2 circuits and 20mins fast walk on the treadmill. Also concentrating on eating less sugar. I suspect that might be what causes my sudden slumps at work, but I don’t eat all that much and sometimes still get it. Worth eliminating anyway. If not that then I’ll try something else.

I suspect that I have another urine infection. I have had problems all my life, but that’s enough to fill up another post, and I might do that tomorrow if mum leaves and BF is still out. The point being though, that I might have to find a Dr in the city who I like and who I feel comfortable with because it is ridiculous to take half a day off work everytime to see the Dr.

I am also concerned about our sex life, or lack of it. I used to have such a high libido and now I feel like I have nothing. More often than not lately I’ve just wanted to fall asleep as soon as I get to bed. I think it might be affects of the pill that I’m on now. I switched a couple of months ago to one that clearly up my acne, but seems to have put a damper on other things. I’ve noticed it was since taking it that it’s dropped, and although BF says that he doesn’t mind if we never ever had sex again, I do mind. I’ve read in some magazine that even just going through the motions can help, so I may do that. We last had sex over a week ago. Certain circumstances (like me going to the parents for the weekend) factor in. That and most nights he starts playing an online game that goes for an hour or more and I just fall asleep waiting for him to come to bed.

Hm, I can smell something and I strongly suspect it’s the rubbish bin. BF has been at home for two weeks on holidays, and has done nothing at all to help me out in the way of cleaning. The only thing he’s done is the dishes and he has to do that because I cook. I had better go and deal with the rubbish before it gets too much. *sigh* Then there is more housework to do, because while I was at work, BF did…. nothing.


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