We had our Christmas party for work on Saturday night…
We went to a local pub for dinner and open tab on the bar. BF came along. He doesn’t drink, which is fine. He had gingerbeer all night. Early on it was fairly uneventful. I ordered the nachos which were on the entree menu but when I got them they were huge. I couldn’t finish it all. I drunk all night and listened to BF talk to workmates about TV shows, and sci-fi books of which I had no interest. Everyone had brought along their partners. And at about 11.00 T’s partner wanted to leave. She wanted T to come with her, but he stayed. When we finally got away the group had been reduced to myself, T, B, A and D.
As B’s partner was leaving she yelled out “Don’t get into any trouble”
We made our way down to the C and B. Now, for part of the night I had been thinking about T in a way I shouldn’t be. Because we both have partners. I think it was the drink, and the fact we weren’t in a work situation, because I would never cheat on BF or anything, and it’s not the same now that we are back at work again. I also have times where I freak out and I think that we are too serious for how young we are and what if I’m making a mistake etc etc. And I tend to lean towards older men when I am thinking this. T is 31, 11 years older than I. The last person I was thinking like this with was 9 years older. It doesn’t help that they aren’t bad looking. I’ve not acted on it at all. and I’m never thinking relationships either. I am thinking no-strings-attached kind of thing. and I shouldn’t be thinking like this! But I can’t help it. I don’t want to break up with BF because I love him, but maybe I’m bored? I’m bored with how monotomous our relationship is? How he never tries that much anymore. How we never go out at all? How it feels so much like husband and wife in their 40s it’s not funny. I want to go out and party. But he’s always working nights (night manager in our building) so we don’t go out together plus he doesn’t like that atmosphere anyway. And maybe that’s where the thoughts come sneaking in. I want someone who will come out and have fun with me, but I know that person isn’t going to be BF.
And then, and then…there was that look, that look that shouldn’t have happened…
When we got to the Cock + Bull we got in and went straight to the drinks. I drunk more drinks in a hour than I have before, and still did not get even slightly tipsy. My alcoholic tolerance was a lot higher than it should have been.
T is quite tall, so when we go drunk he started getting all army and leggy, quite like a praying mantis. I spent half of the time we were there just laughing into my drink. They are freakin’ funny as drunk. Got up and danced a bit with this wicked as cover band. They finished their set with Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody so we were dancing in a line with our arms around each other. D, me, B and T. We broke off at the end of the song, D went to get another drink, T kept clapping and clapping and B…well he tried to kiss me. I bent over backwards to get away, and it was an amazing display of gymnastics that I managed to bend back and straighten up again. He left pretty quick after that. Went to get another drink. I’m sure it was the drink.
After the band the scene kinda died. A, D and B were having a smoke outside. T came out of the bathroom looking a little worse for wear, and we went out to join them. T decided that given his present state (smashed and likely to barf) he would head home, and A decided he would too. A friend from course last year had been texting me and telling me to meet up with him at a club down town, so I said I’d be heading there and that’s where I wanted my taxi to go. D and B came with me too. When we go to the club, I went in and saw my friend and then took off to the dance floor with B. He was getting a bit touchy/feely (tried to kiss me again), but I wasn’t going to do anything, and I figured, he could stay with me and keep outta trouble, or he could go and get himself into trouble. Plus, I was fairly sure he wouldn’t remember anything. They didn’t last long and left after a bit. It was just me and college friend, and I left at about 4am (he was still going strong, good luck to him!).
I was worried it would be awkward with B at work today, but he doesn’t remember anything after the cock and bull so that’s fine. It’s all normal. Safe to say, I didn’t tell BF about B. I don’t think it would have gone down well, and it’s not like that happens all the time, but he wouldn’t want me going out thinking that it was going to happen again.
If I was any kind of sensible I would stop drinking alcohol – but I’m not that sensible – I am only 19 after all!!