I’m in a strange situation

I’m living at my exs house in the city. Well, technically, my name is still on the apartment but I’m not paying rent.

So, I’m staying in the city this week because I am working 7am starts for 2 weeks, and then 6.30am starts.
But then I get a reprieve with 1.30pm starts. Nice. This is all now because I am internet trained and I should know everything.

I pretend I do, but there is way too much for me to ever know everything. and there are so many little questions. But I feel so satisfied when I make a booking that is over $10,000.

I saw a picture on exs phone of a girl with no top on just holding her boobs with her hands. She had small boobs. Problem is i can’t see her face so i can’t identify who it is. I don’t care actually, the need to know is only fueled by curiosity. I don’t have any feelings, deep or emotional or sexual. Of course i still love him in the friend sense, and he will always be there for me and i him, but I feel so good when its not pressured.

And, I don’t have to feel guilty when I see my special friend. With him, that is raw lust and I love it. The secrecy, the urgency. Forgive me, but I thrive on it. For now. Later on I might want more, but I’m enjoying being single.

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