Wankers Club

In the small little community that I grew up in my parents and their friends formed the “Wankers Club”. King Wanker was ofc Carter. Aptly named because when he is drunk, he is very very drunk and a total and complete Wanker.

This group would get together and drink and smoke and as the night went on they got drunker and more stoned. The would play loud music and laugh. The would go to the local pub (15min drive away) and place bets on the horses. They would get together and play dice. They had a phase of getting together and playing cards. As we got older we were allowed to join in the games, and eventually the drinking, and (in my sisters case) smoking. Well…smoking ciggys…I still can’t bring myself to smoke a joint in front of my mother.

It’s funny coz I hate smoking but weed is sweeter and not as bad…really though I’m just kidding myself.


ANYWAY – that’s beside the point.

Slowly I have migrated into the outer circle of the Wankers Club and over the years people have come and gone but the main wankers are still alive and kicking.

If you are having a party you only need to say that the Wankers Club will be there, and it will be a good night.




Very festive isn’t it??

I like Halloween. I like dressing up and partying.  So for now I have a pumpkin and black coloured theme.

Actually,  I just like the party the family friends throw every year. We go over, the Wankers Club are always there, we drink, we dance and sing along to all our fav old hits and then about 4 or 5 am we look around and suddenly realise that it’s just me and the brothers, and maybe a friend or two still awake. It’s at this time that I tend to slink off home into the night. If I stay long enough, people start waking up and that’s when you KNOW  you sould be gone.

For last year’s one I dressed up as a witch. A pregnant looking witch to be honest. It was before my operation so the dress went over my boobs and then fell straight down. None of this clingly to my hippy’s kinda thing going on it was very long, and heavy and all over the place. But it was the only costume that fit my huge boobies. 

I LOVE any kind of festival season. Christmas is my fave because for me in the space of one week I have Christmas, my brithday and New Years. But mostly I love festive seasons because of the parties 😀

I exisit, therefore I am….or something to that effect

I may have said before that I think I am getting a lil obsessed with sex. But this is really not a good run for me.

Over the weekend realiable lay was not so relaible. The people he lives with were home and awake when we didn’t want them to be. They had just got back from Australia the night before and so were on Aussie time 3 hours behind us here on New Zealand time.

So that didn’t work out. And then on a day he doesn’t usually have his son he was picking him up from after school care so couldn’t come and join our druggie/drinky party.

There was someone else I had been talking to who was going to come over this morning for a bit of fun before work…but it turns out he has a gf and he got the guilts. Now I’ll be honest. I wasn’t going there for a relationship so if they had an agreement that she was happy with I wouldn’t have minded coz that’s not what I was after with this particular guy. so anyway, that did not happen.

I haven’t spoken to Juicy Lips for a while. I wonder what he’s up to….

If I’m being totally honest, I would go for a sexless relationship with Crush (sexless for a small amount of time) over sex with Mr Reliable any day of the week.

It’s stopped raining – the sun is finally out

In a couple of weeks we are heading to the Gold Coast for a week of fun in the sun.

We get to travel staff travel which make me happy as flights are cheap. But it’s costing so much, even more for me as I have to get a passport too. The prices are insane! $150NZD for a 5 year passport. I hate the fact that we can’t smile in it. I look almost angry.

the first photos I had taken I didn’t check right away and when I got them out for my friend to verify them I looked and realized that I had red eye. I was fairly certain that they wouldn’t accpet that so I had to go back and get them changed and take up more time, which just annoyed me so much. They do this all the time, they should have known that it wasn’t right.

I am excited to get my passport. I nearly got one last year when I almost won a competition to go to Rarotonga in the cook Islands.  But I got trumped by a girl who’s brother had died. There was no way I was going to win after that.

I’ve never expereinced customs or duty free or any of that and I would love to just so that I can share what our passengers are going through.

Today at work I asked a guy to hold while I found him the BREAST price on our flight….I nearly died.
I also had a booking reference that started with ANUS** (there are 6 numbers and letter but obviously I cannot disclose the entire reference due to privacy etc. I would be sooo fired). I had to put him on hold too to have a little laugh at that.

On the (litterly) brighter side we have been having some smashing weather. The suns been out, flatmates have gotten burnt. Not me, but I was hoping to brown a little. Broke out the bikini top  for a little bit but won’t be doing that at the beach anytime soon due to my stomach being a little bigger than would have liked!

In the spirit of the lovely dovely weather we brought a barbecue. CRAZY I know, but it’s cheap and I can’t wait for summer bbq’s and piss ups 😀

We had a 3-day weekend and on our lat day off we were sitting drinking in the sun trying to find some weed which seemed to have all been smoked.

The best we could get was a little bit off my sister but we had to mission it out to C******* to pick it up which is about a 4min drive. I was happy to give it up as a lost cause but this just shows the force of nature my flatmate is when she wants something lol!

On a totally different topic  – go and see Burn After Reading the new Coen Brothers movie. My mum sister and I are big Coen brothers fans anyway so we loved it, but there are just some awsomely random funny things in there that you NEED to see.

I am so over boys right now

Crush has started ignoring me.

In fact he went so far as to delete my comments off his facebook page.

It makes me so sad because we were really good friends. We talked all the time and made each other laugh. And it’s more the loss of a friend than anything else that’s bugging me.

No actually, I know what’s bugging me. No explanation. No nothing. No… look I’m sorry but I think I should only talk to  you in relation to work. No… look I think it’s best if we don’t talk.

I just hate the cutoffness. It sucks.

Territorial much…?

Comment from Crush’s ex (have not actually confirmed they are together yet) on his facebook page

“[crush]..is the best most sweetest guy is the whole world, and no other girl can have him!!! 🙂 xxx”

followed by

“I think someone is giving someone else hope!!!”

Which pretty much cemented it for me anyways as she hasn’t appeared on his page for a couple of months.  I did not go to her page to see what he said…

… because her profile is private :\

The thing I hate about Globe

Is not that fact that they’ve installed dancing poles.

It’s the girls who hang around holding on with one hand and gyrating their hips side to side thinking this constitutes dancing.

It does not. I am not a perv, and I don’t swing for the other team, but girls, if you are going to jump up there with those poles, give us something to look at or else let someone else more talented have a go.

I am all for watching girls who know how to move, and have the confidence to do it without looking awkward and uncomfortable. I watch and learn moves so that I can imitate however awful my rendition may be.

Do not stand there with one hand on the pole. Get the fuck off the stage.