damn :(

When I got home last night after seeing Crush he sent me this text. “Hey! Sorry if i looked a little dazed! Just still stunned!! Thank you for making my night! 🙂 ”

So, good, right?

Then at 5.30 this morning (I’ve been getting up at 5 to get ready for early work starts) he sent me this text. “Can u plz txt me before you start work? Need to talk!”

I sent back “Im awake couldnt guarentee coherant”

He rang me. Said that he was sorry that he kissed me last night. That I caught him in a weak moment. That he was still in love with his ex. 😦


He was sorry and it wasn’t right for us to become anything right not as it wouldn’t be fair on me and I’m a great friend and awesome person and I don’t deserve that.

So I told him look, it’s ok. Really, it’s ok. He had been up all night and not slept well so I told him to go back to bed and get some sleep.

I am so, so, so gutted right now.

I really like him, and I was SOO happy last night. I had been worried that it was one-wayed, and thought for a bit maybe it was, but he never said that he didn’t like me in that way….but that he was still in love with his ex.

I have been in a funk, in a bad mood all day. Irritable and easily pissed off. I just want to talk to him. But I don’t want to push or rush him .

Both my flatmate and our good friend have recently (as in this weekend) both acquired boyfriends. They are all going to the movies tonight and invited me along but I’d feel like such a third wheel but times 2.

And after last night, I figured it was best not to invite Crush.

Damn. damn. damn.

I’m home alone.

Ok, not alone, my flatmates family are staying but I hardly know them and they aren’t the best company to be honest.

I’m allllll alone. There’s no one here besiiiiiiiiiiide meeeeeeeeeeeee.

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