I am so over boys right now

Crush has started ignoring me.

In fact he went so far as to delete my comments off his facebook page.

It makes me so sad because we were really good friends. We talked all the time and made each other laugh. And it’s more the loss of a friend than anything else that’s bugging me.

No actually, I know what’s bugging me. No explanation. No nothing. No… look I’m sorry but I think I should only talk to  you in relation to work. No… look I think it’s best if we don’t talk.

I just hate the cutoffness. It sucks.

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Territorial much…?

Comment from Crush’s ex (have not actually confirmed they are together yet) on his facebook page

“[crush]..is the best most sweetest guy is the whole world, and no other girl can have him!!! 🙂 xxx”

followed by

“I think someone is giving someone else hope!!!”

Which pretty much cemented it for me anyways as she hasn’t appeared on his page for a couple of months.  I did not go to her page to see what he said…

… because her profile is private :\

The thing I hate about Globe

Is not that fact that they’ve installed dancing poles.

It’s the girls who hang around holding on with one hand and gyrating their hips side to side thinking this constitutes dancing.

It does not. I am not a perv, and I don’t swing for the other team, but girls, if you are going to jump up there with those poles, give us something to look at or else let someone else more talented have a go.

I am all for watching girls who know how to move, and have the confidence to do it without looking awkward and uncomfortable. I watch and learn moves so that I can imitate however awful my rendition may be.

Do not stand there with one hand on the pole. Get the fuck off the stage.

Ouch

Crush is back with his ex.

I was pretty down about it last night, so I wasn’t a lot of fun when we went to town.

Now, I’m happy for him because  I want him to be happy, I don’t want him to be all cut up inside.

Still doesn’t stop me wishing it was me.

damn :(

When I got home last night after seeing Crush he sent me this text. “Hey! Sorry if i looked a little dazed! Just still stunned!! Thank you for making my night! 🙂 ”

So, good, right?

Then at 5.30 this morning (I’ve been getting up at 5 to get ready for early work starts) he sent me this text. “Can u plz txt me before you start work? Need to talk!”

I sent back “Im awake couldnt guarentee coherant”

He rang me. Said that he was sorry that he kissed me last night. That I caught him in a weak moment. That he was still in love with his ex. 😦

Damn.

He was sorry and it wasn’t right for us to become anything right not as it wouldn’t be fair on me and I’m a great friend and awesome person and I don’t deserve that.

So I told him look, it’s ok. Really, it’s ok. He had been up all night and not slept well so I told him to go back to bed and get some sleep.

I am so, so, so gutted right now.

I really like him, and I was SOO happy last night. I had been worried that it was one-wayed, and thought for a bit maybe it was, but he never said that he didn’t like me in that way….but that he was still in love with his ex.

I have been in a funk, in a bad mood all day. Irritable and easily pissed off. I just want to talk to him. But I don’t want to push or rush him .

Both my flatmate and our good friend have recently (as in this weekend) both acquired boyfriends. They are all going to the movies tonight and invited me along but I’d feel like such a third wheel but times 2.

And after last night, I figured it was best not to invite Crush.

Damn. damn. damn.

I’m home alone.

Ok, not alone, my flatmates family are staying but I hardly know them and they aren’t the best company to be honest.

I’m allllll alone. There’s no one here besiiiiiiiiiiide meeeeeeeeeeeee.

I think I am obsessed with Sex

I never thought I was. I mean, I had a healthy appetite, but then again, I did have a steady partner for 2 nd a half years.

But lately all I think about is Juciy Lips. Like OMG. Seriously. What is wrong with me?

Oh  yea, the lips.

And then when there is no communication for a couple of days, and all I want is a flirty text I cant stop thinking about him.

Maybe I need a detox.

No boys.

eek.